Man Up? Masculinity in 2025 and Why We Need a New Conversation

“Man up.”
It’s a phrase I heard growing up. On the football pitch. In the changing room. Even quietly, in the spaces between crisis and coping.

It’s also a phrase I’ve come to unlearn—and unpick—in my personal life and in my professional work.

In 2025, the idea of what it means to “be a man” is being challenged more than ever. And it needs to be. Not just for the wellbeing of men, but for the safety, equity, and emotional health of everyone in the system—including women and non-binary people, both staff and service users.

A System That Still Carries Old Codes

In frontline services—whether housing, health, social care, criminal justice or substance use—the consequences of rigid masculinity show up every day. We see men who’ve been taught not to feel, not to ask for help, not to be vulnerable. Many are living in survival mode, carrying shame and trauma without the tools or language to express it.

These codes of masculinity—dominance, emotional detachment, control—can create unsafe environments for women and nonbinary people. Female staff may be more likely to experience aggression, microaggressions, or be expected to absorb emotion without support. Women service users may experience services that feel emotionally cold or male-dominated, where their voices are minimised or retraumatised.

The gendered dynamics within services—particularly when compounded by race, class, disability or other marginalisation—can’t be ignored.

A Personal Acknowledgement

I’m writing this as a cisgender white man. Someone who has delivered training, facilitated reflective practice, and sat with teams across the UK for many years.

But I wasn’t always aware of the deeper gender dynamics at play. I’ve had to educate myself—and continue to do so—around what masculinity costs us, what it imposes on others, and how it intersects with systems of power.

I’ve learned from colleagues who’ve held uncomfortable mirrors up to me. From women and gender-diverse people who’ve trusted me with their stories. From men who’ve broken open the silence and helped me reflect on my own social conditioning.

I don’t write this from a place of expertise. I write it from a place of responsibility.

Why We Made This Micro Training

To support this ongoing work, I’ve developed a short micro training session exploring masculinity in 2025. It’s designed for people working in trauma-informed settings, especially with men facing multiple and complex needs.

But it also invites broader questions:

• What gendered messages do we still carry as professionals?

• How do these messages shape service delivery, workplace culture, and safety?

• What does it mean to hold space for men in trauma without colluding with harmful norms?

• And how can we centre women’s and non-binary people’s safety at the same time?

Access the training via our TILT community. If you are reading this blog after the session, you can watch back the recording of the session.

Final Thought

Masculinity isn’t broken. But the silence around it is. As service providers, educators, and leaders, we have a responsibility to challenge old scripts—not just for men’s mental health, but for safer and more equitable systems. We don’t need to “man up.” We need to listen, reflect, repair, and reimagine. Together.